We All Have Choices
You can smile, even through your tears, no matter which road you end up taking those steps.
We all go through many “roller coasters” in life. God kept convicting me to write a book after I lost Bryan, my husband of 20 years, and father of my children in a tragic car wreck February 2, 2013. I kept thinking and arguing with God, “What am I going to write about? What could I possibly teach people?”
So many people I looked up to, in my business and my personal life, that I thought were much more qualified than me. But, anyone who knows, when God convicts you on something, you will “not win” if you choose to not do it, or try not to! 🙂
I first thought of smiling, Bryan used to always say, “I want to see you smile.” I remember thinking one day, while I was crying, him looking down from Heaven saying this exact thing to me. The thought in my head, “He would not want me to be like this, and I am not being a good example to my children, nor others around me that might possibly look up to me.”
A lightbulb, a God moment — if you will — “You can smile, even through your tears”. I thought that was going to be the title of my book. So i started writing, and thinking about chapters, etc…
Through much procrastination, and still yet arguing with God that there are many books out there and many others way more capable than me, and over the next couple years, this word, this concept, kept popping into my head, “choices.”
We all have a choice to what we do in life, what we think, what we put in our mouths, what we say to ourself and to others, how we react — so many choices — We All Have Choices, and we can choose wisely or poorly, and either way we will suffer or enjoy the consequences of those choices.
Through the next few years of attempting to start writing this book, and making “choices” to put it off, saying to myself, I am too busy, I will start later, and so many more excuses. If we want excuses, we can find them in anything and anywhere.
In some ways, excuses can be challenges to God.
After losing my husband of almost 20 years, and father of my children, I didn’t think I would have to deal with loss for a long time. Yet, only 6 months after losing Bryan, I lost our family dog of 13 years. He was our sweet Boxer named Bullet. Then I lost my Grandfather, (my dad’s dad) who I grew up staying at their house many weekends when I was little. March 2014 comes along, and we lost Bryan’s father. He lived in our garage apartment, and we had cared for him for 15 years.
My 28-year-old daughter was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma Cancer in June of 2015, and then in November 2015, my mother (who was also one of my best friends in life) was diagnosed with Uterine cancer. My daughter chose chemo plus natural things and was thankfully announced cancer free in December that year. My mother, unfortunately, we lost her in March 2016, three weeks before my parents 50th anniversary, and huge surprise party my sisters and I had planned for them. Later in 2016, October, we lost my Bryan’s Grandaddy (where my kids played on his farm and worked too, many days growing up). Then his Granny Grace in July 2017.
Yes, the past few years have been some of the craziest twist and turns life’s roller coaster has to offer. Also the different shoes I have been given to walk through life in, and the choices of how we walk in those shoes, can make all the difference in the world.
Each twist and turn and upside down moment is the opportunity to find an excuse or to find a reason. Excuses are made by those who are lazy or comfortable where they are. When we seek a true change, a true change in our mindset and in our lives, we find a reason to do it.
That reason is our motivation.
Instead of using all of the loss my family and I have experienced to not do something, I am seeing it as a way to impact others, to impact myself, to inspire. My choice in moving forward, in a thank you to Bryan, my Grandfather, Bryan’s Grandaddy, my daughter, and my mother, as well as others, and a thank you for you also, choosing to believe in me, and making the choice to hear and read my story.
Your choice is an inspiration. It is one that will inspire others. It is a choice of confidence ~ in yourself, taking the time for you, and confidence in what this book/story can offer to you.
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